it has come to the point were i feel like i cant take it any longer - something has to happen - but it`s standing perfectly still. ..im not handeling it as good as i hoped for. i think, maybe i would handle it better, if i wasnt as surrounded by it as i am. i try my best to avoid it - but it seems like it`s impossible to not get in touch with 'it' in some way. i always meet someone, get reminded of it by someone. i feel terrible when i meet these particular persons that this contains - their so snugly&kind to me cause their unknowable,and i fear what they`ll think of me when they`ll find out.it could be in three days or three weeks for what i know.all this waiting around and acting like everything`s allright is whats killing me.no, it is not about love this time.------ it doesnt matter what it is, the thing is that im about to go mad. i have nothing to hide,i`ve been told im doing the only right thing - but i dunno,it sure doesnt feel good, i`ve done nothing wrong
- then why does it feel like it?