you are the reason that i hold on through the night, you are the reason i get up in the morning. roughly ; you are the reason. Without a 'you', what am i?, without a reason,what wuold i be? and thirdly, do i have to find out?

I did not work out last night, i was too tired and had a bit on my mind.
I sat down with candlelights(like always,i'm addicted to candles,it is so calming!), cocoa and my feet in hot water and footbath-oil - while doing my homework, watching TV and listening to music. I`d still not been eating,if my brother hadn`t stopped by,we had dinner together. He is always helping me out, he is so caringl and kind to me. I`ll miss him much if he moves. (correction:when he move)
OUT.

TUESDAY-TIRSDAG-DIENSTAG-MARTES-TYSDAG-

TODAY:

• school! (and i'm also in between classes going to a course in the Bank,it`s about marketing. Our class just started a "enterprise", we`r gonna sell a product named "Zona", produts for ur skin.Thats why i'm going to this course.. learn a bit more about this kinda stuff.)
• coordination-aerobic - hard work and alot of fun, at 18.00pm. (umh,i dont know, i'm kinda tired.. we`ll see!)
• homewooork!! ..the rest of the night while i`m watching TV.
• theres at least two things i want to see on TV,and thats "Seks som oss" og "Kongen av queens".

..thats about it.

"What did u learn on school today?"

My class r out this week, having internship at either a doctorsoffice, dentist or a pharmacy..as assistants/secretary`s. Me? , I'm stuck at school.. but I'm Ok with it. I`v been away alot lately,and gonna try to do everything they been trough in every subject the last month - and also prepare myself till the big tests coming up. but i have to admit,i have never felt more extempore in any schoolsemester before ever.even if i have shown up and been in class/school more this year then last year i feel like i havent learned shit this time - i find many of my subjects interesting, so i dont understand why i'm this empty inside.. but i think that the teachers i had the year before was much more eager and "into" the subjects they teached in and therefore they got my attention and me wanting to learn more about it too. ofcourse,i shall not blame the teachers for everything,i dont - but it surtenly has got to do with my class knowing so little in every subject.. cause it`s not just me, but the others as well,even if they`v been there all week after week they feel like they know 'nothing'. i got an 6 (1 is worse and 6 is the best ;) on my final exam the schoolyear before this - i'm quite a perfectionst, and i always expect the best from myself..kinda annoying,cause i simply have to realize i`v been away alot,and my health is not good and so on.. and u cant do best all the time.noone else r pushing me,but me.but i'm sure i wont get the best grade this time,that would be odd.. but the 6 i got on my exam in june was surprising as well,so who knows.i`ll do my best.. i cant do no more.

i dont know about that..

Other people are your concern, even if you don't know them. If you see a person trip you worry is he is okay. You put your loved ones first and you're very mature. When someones sick you're nurturing and always try to help family and friends when failure strikes them. You can be called the motherly one, if you are in a group of people, which doesn't have to be bad. Love is something that's already in you and you have a lot to give whether you believe it or not. Your friends probably love you very much and come to when they need help since you're reliable. People can feel secure with you and generally like you.

check out this stupid test urself -> HERE.

oh man! i'm glad it`s SUNday and not MONday .cause i'm one laZy lass this morning

What is it about early morning rain/snow that makes me want to stay in bed? this kinda weather signifies a day of rest and philosophizing - a day to walk around in your pj's and bake cookies. but then i`m not just a kid ,but a student.. and i have to get up and go to school even if it is kozy inside a stormy/gray or/and cold day!(at least i should) .. oh my,now i'm just a student - but how will it be when i got work or my own kids.. *grin* then i simply have to get up no matter what,cause other people r depending on me.i think it is a gooood thing that i'm not more then a student yet, for the time being i like it this way.

Siste veka ha eg hatt ganske dårlig matlyst, både mat og drikke , til og med godteri.. bare tanken på å ta noke innenfor leppene og inn i munnen gjør meg kvalm. *grimase* må være i nærheten av toalettet heile tida,lr ha ei bøtte like ved,helst i fanget. mamma stresser rundt meg,kjøper inn -alt- ho veit eg lika,men til ingen nytte.leppene e som forsegla, og eg vil ikkje ha nokenverdensting.men d e noke som funker.. om du hadde spurt om eg ville ha d hadde du fått et irritert NEI, men om du hadde laga d og satt d framfor meg e d stor sjans for at eg i d minste hadde pirka borti d og prøvd litt. Fks. :

1. potetmos
2. cola
3. brennende kjærlighet (en middagsrett med kjøttdeig,ost&potetmos)
4. vafler
5. muligens kylling
6. alltid svak for kokt vann.. ;O ja eg ekje heilt normal, i never said that either. men d e jo ingen næring i, men d e ihvertfall litt væske om ikkje anna.

d kan funke, men eg lova ingenting.mamma du lese sikkert d her, ta d til deg og husk potetmos,cola,brennendekjærlighet,kylling&koktvann *bortskjemt smil* ;D

g`morning 2 u all.
today: it is freeezin cold outside,not snowing,but it`s hoarfrost on the ground, u can c the white frost on the grass too, and on peoples houses on the roof.if u breathe outside, ur breath is smoky and grey-coloured. *yawn* not slept enough,like always,im a *yaawwning*,uh,sorry, vreck ;O
knock me down with a cane will ya?then i guess i`ll go into "disable-modus".do it do it do it do it - come ooon! i dare u.come on,just do it.

hi you, yeah y-o-u. we didnt talk for long last night,but it really helped.i felt so much better afterwards,i never feel like talking solves any problems,but now i did,just wanted u to know my apriciation and make some thank-you-room in my blog just for u.

I feel much better now, thank you.

home sweet home

ah,home! I`v been at the hospital in Førde for a few days-stay. Yup,thats right,i was going to Bergen,but change in planes since i got more ill then usual.. spend the last 4days there.
I came home 2hours ago,and here i am at my computer allready;O just wanna update my blog a littlebit, and then i`ll go and lie down for a while.
i feel sick, a bit sad and a million times more tired.. tired of hospitals&doctors.tired of not living like a normal person.tired of this life.tired..yeah i`m tired allright. and i have school on my mind all day long,i cant stop worrying about school,all the homework i should be doing and all the tests coming up at the end of this semester - and i, of all people.. i wanna become a doctor, study medicine.thats my dream!wake up Regine, ain`t happening. or, at least i have to prepare myself on the fact that my dream might not become true - maybe i should start looking for other suggestions.. (no i dont want to become a nurse!)but maybe physio therapist, or sosionom(dont know the word in english,kinda sociologist.) or work in the lab in the hospital,bloodbank.but i dont know.. tss.
at this point , i`m very confused.. and when the doctors never find out what exactly`s wrong with me and they look at me with this look, and i can see on their faces that they dont honestly believe in everything i say.. and they look at my journal - i know that at once they read that i`v been at the hospital several times without finding out whats wrong with me,taking all these tests without any answars. when they cant find out what it is, it`s not them doing a crappy job or me having some rare illness,but they put me in this box.. and no matter what i say, or vomit blood or faint .. they automatically think it`s psychic, just in my head. And they pass it forward to the psychiatric clinic so they`ll get rid of me.. but i so know in my heart that this is not in my head - and a shrink knocked her hand in the table and said that she was convinced that this was physical and not psychic! even if she said that.. at this point i wonder.. am i mad? am i just totally making everything up to get attention or pity? am i a "hypoconder", am i just pretending all the time? i could be. but i think Not. Would i waste my life since i was in the 6th grade,12 years old until now.. 9years together just to get attention?would i sacriface all these years, i could be halfway to becoming a doctor! would i lie in bed day in and day out , while my friends were out having fun?would i do all this, make up a lie to everyone and manage to live with it??would i? No. i often have to ask myself all these questions,
and then i`m not confused anymore,
until the next person gives me this look.

Got up 05.45 this morning, i`m kinda tired.i`v had a terrible,terrible night.i thought it was to be my last night eva`.yeah,it was bad.very bad.pain?..i have no words to describe it,really.it was bad.i`m surprised i survived.it was so bad that i couldnt move, couldnt open my mouth.. or else i would be in the hospital by now.
Now i feel better,i`m glad.Nothing to worry about - i`m fine.I`v just finished a shortstory, homework.I wrote about love, that was the task..to write about love. i seldom write about love, i often write crazy stories,murder and blood and crime and scary stuff.

Picasso - Breastfeed

My journal, I Salute You!

I`v been in Førde this weekend for a change - and i have also been out, checking out the city-life, i`m not the person u always bumps into on saturdaynight in Førde.. but now u could both friday and saturday actually.yeah,craZy-days in Regines life.heh,no, but it was fun allright! Sundaymorning(emh,today) i felt reaally sick.I couldnt understand it, at first i thought it was this typical 'hangover',but it was worse.. but it was my sickness,i have this disease,and i get paroxysm(attacks) and i have inexpressible pain in my abdomen, i throw up and i fainted at least 8times.. it lasted for 6-7hours, intense. i was exhausted afterwards. My mum called and i told her i was sick..she knew that a friend of ours was driving through Førde,going home were my mum lives, and she called him and he picked me up - i came home around 5 o`clock. she managed to get me to eat alittlebit, she`s good at that, i feel much better now. I was going to skip school tomorrow, but i know i`m ready tomorrowmorning at 06.00AM. My brother is going back to Førde.And then i have to go home again after school,kinda stressing - forth and back,forth and back.. it`s 1,5hours drive by car.
Cause this week i`m gonna be away every day accept for tomorrow if i go.. tuesday im home:physic therapist, then in the evening i`m going to Bergen, hospital wednesday morning, some tests to do. I wont be back in my apartment until sunday the 27th i think.. (hey thats my dad`s birthday.)
It`s late, i`m going to bed. g`night =)

Endlichen Freitaag!

I just came from my english-session, we had a test.. had to write a essay and so on.I had fotgotten my dictionary, i hope i did well. (still snowy here,yeah in Norway polarbears walking around outside,and we have no cars,yup we`r just a country with vikings and polarbears..how do we SURVIVE here?!)

Again im soaring high..i just cant,simply cant concentrate!

*yawn* i`m kinda tired. I got up at 06.00 this morning (!) , had to read on a huge test about service and ethics, we did the test in our first session this morning, it went real good! *woho*

a story i found..

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists.""Why do you say that?" asked the customer."Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed,there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.
Just after he left the barbershop,he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.
The customer turned back and entered the barbershop again and he said to the barber:
"You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.
"I am here,and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me."
"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too,DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain ! and suffering in the world."

"oh joy", it`s snowing outside.

The weather in the western part of Norway has been very unstabile and stormy the last days.. or week actually. Theres been alot of damages especially in my county 'Sogn&Fjordane', and the county next to us(Hordaland). I find this weather rather exiting - but then i dont think i would feel the same way if it was my home that had been taken by the storm.

All the sounds of the earth are like music
The breeze is so busy it don't miss a tree
And a ol' weepin' willer is laughin' at me

Oh, what a beautiful mornin'
Oh, what a beautiful day I got a beautiful feelin'
Ev'rything's goin' my way
"Oh, what a beautiful day"
(beautiful og beautiful morning fru blom,it`s raining cats and dogs actually)

fascinating!

Stare at the four spots in the middle of the picture for about 15seconds..
then close ur eyes and turn away from the computer -
tell me,
what do u c ?

leave a comment!

this is one heartbreakin`drawing

yeah.. publishing-problems :D

Mreklrig ikke snat?!!!!

Ifgøle en udnerøslekse ved Cmarbidge Uinevrisett sipller det ignen rlloe i hivlekn røfgekkele boktsvanee er. Det estnee som er viktig er at fstøre og stise boksatv er på rktiig setd, retsen kan vræe hltuer til bluter og du kan flotsart lsee uetn prblomeer. Dtete er frdoi den mnesnekliege hrjene ikke lseer hevr boksatv for seg slev, men odret i sin hleeht.

Regine is one exhausted girl i`ll tell ya.There is just so much homework and submissions. she hasn`t slept for hours either.. awake all night, she`s a f.. mess - but she got up and out this morning and she`s still at her desk in school. MAN is she tired! It is friday and she is going home tonight to her mums place for the weekend. Ful house - as always. It`s a house were everybody unite. Regine is glad she has her room, when theres to much going on and to many people she is hiding in there.. lying in her bed writing in her diary, or making crazy stories or reading crim-novels.And if u cant find her anywere, i guess she`s running up the mountains with her friend Eldrid!sporty lasses.

The world has truly gone crazy. The best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, France is telling the US they are being to upstuck, and the Germans don't want to go to war.

People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over.

clue : my head + chaos.

if u grab me and shake me a bit, or turn me up-side-down, i wonder if u would hear this "something-is-broken"-noise, like a loose piece inside a radio or a plastictoy. cause it feels like i have a viruse, or maybe someone`s hacked into my system.. messing around.i dont know - i simply cant concentrate, that i do know.

"I would do anything to pass"
A student comes to a young professor's office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
''I would do anything to pass this exam.''
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
''I mean...'' she whispers, ''... I would do... anything.''
He returns her gaze.
''Anything?''
- ''Anything.''
His voice turns to a whisper.

''Would you... study?''

I want to fade into nothingness.It is not like I AM anything anyway...
I AM already nothingess...
I am so tired sometimes...
I want to sleep forever.
None of that 100 years stuff either...Why would it be any better 100 years from now?hah.And yeah, I mean eternal sleep.

"Forelsking
gjer den
kloke dum"
Knut Hamsun.

me and Eldrid "did" Laviksåta(mountain) yesterday and we`r going today as well, she`s here any minute now. say what?aah,i c.. it`s raining at ur place? darling, the weather is even worse back here.. raining cats and dogs(cows:), really windy and misty as well - even more exiting and funny :D u go and dress proparly , the weather`s just fiiine. Afterwards if my heart dont play me any tricks.. i`m going to her place and we`ll watch a movie or something like that.

Me and Eldrid r heading for the mountain "Laviksåta"(708m) today, but not before 14-15.00, i can sleep as long as i wish,so why am i up this early?? sleep? wh..?..i dont sleep. how i`m doing? njeh, been better.

morning.. *yaaawn*

today: i have an apointment at my physic therapist 15.00 - then Eldrid r dropping by afterwards.i guess we`r gonna talk,listen to music and eat brownies :D she baked, she`s tha best!
pic taken after shower.. rufflehead. considering to cut my hair, do something new..like getting bangs!i dont wanna cut the length, just in the front.. bangs it is.

Coheed and Cambria - Welcome Home (diggbar låt,god gitarsolo)
The Cardigans - I Need Some Fine Wine,And You,You Need To Be Nicer (stilig&fengende)
Madrugada feat Ane Brun - Lift me (annerledes)
Briskeby feat Ken Springfellow - Joe Dallesandro (jente"rock",søte&oppmuntrende toner)
Impedansebande - All My Life (good stuff)
Maria Mena - Miss Your Love (fin,men litt sippete - hvilket passer meg bra;)
Kaizers Orchestra - Knekker Deg Til Sist (jeeH)
Carpark North - Human (spes.)
ellers spiller eg skiver av cranberries,withintemptation,pinkfloyd,anebrun,jewel,smashingp., madrugada,eskobar,foofighters,jimstärk..litt oldies&gode gamle bobbaren dylan =) osv osv ..

oh where to start my dear diary

the last 24hours has been hard on me.
i lost one of the best things thats ever happened to me.
it all happened so quick, we kinda jumped into the third step without any beginning. I have to admit that following the right orders 1-2-3 in a relationship is kinda smart - and i`ll remember that in the future.Without taking it any further,when it allready wasn`t working out to good - we talked about it and agreed on ending it.. it`s not only that we didnt have a normal start , but my feelings for him was a bit more stronger then what he felt for me.
I.. yeah, im sad and , and i have this ache in my chest. i so wanted it to work,cause i, i.. even if i didnt got the chance to get to know him proparly, i have feelings for him - and he`s such a great guy.
cliché,i know but hear me out ; he was worth every sec.of my time,and i dont regret it or have any negative feelings about him.I`m just sorry it didnt work out the way i hoped for.
But who knows.. maybe i end up with him some day after all?Strange thing: even if it`s over i still have this sparkle inside of me hoping for an happy ending .. with him,yeah.
I knoow, i know it`s an tragic and unhealthy thought.
yeah i`m a sad thing,
aint i to cry over.
i have so much feelings bubbeling up inside of me.. at this moment it feels like theres no meaning of life.everything is just so pointless.. like getting up this morning, or coming to school. yeah im at school now - impressed?yup, me 2. going to c my shrink afterwards.. or .. 13.40, so good timing that i had an apointment the day after the breakup. but i still dont get along with her yet, and i know that i cant hold my tears back.. but i guess ,crying in front of her, is like talking to a wall.think of me ,will u..
Erlend,my eldest brothers`s birthday is today. yiha, so i have to try to hang out with him tonight and do something nice.. but i think i can predict that i wont be the best company.